Sunday, May 10, 2009

Tough month so far-Hope it gets better.

It's hard to lose some-one, and people handle grief in different ways. I have spent the last four days in the woods. It reminded me of my child hood in Michigan. The woods give me peace. The wind wraps me in it's embrace,the birds sing,the smells are clean.


Good by Mom-I love you. 5/02/09 Saw you go to heaven. I'm glad you lived a fairly long life, but yet a short 88 years. I'm glad you had me young. You were just 19 when I came into your life.

I'm glad we lived in the era that allowed you to be a stay at home Mom. Dad went to war the year I was born, leaving you to handle the whole load. I did not see Dad until I was almost 4. So you and I started together, as a family. After Dad came home, and my brother was born it seemed that I was pushed into the background. I undoubtedly did not know this at that early age, but it did become apparent as we grew older.

I was the first born. I was expected to get good grades, I was expected to know right from wrong, I was expected to protect my brother and look out for him. They were rocky times huh Mom? He could do no wrong, and at times it seemed I could do no right. I know he caused you pain with the stealing, forged checks, but he was your baby. You and Dad stood by him. I'm glad you did. I became stronger because I had to take care of myself.

My brother died at the age of 24 in an accident while driving drunk. You and dad took it pretty hard. Dad passed at age 84. You lived an additional 4 years. Now hopefully the three of you are joined together again.

I was blessed with a mother and father that lived as man and wife for 64 years before one passed. I'm a lucky man. So Mom where ever you are, know that I loved you, and tried to do the best for you these last four years.

Today is a tough day.

5 comments:

HermitJim said...

Hey Tony...
thank you for the wonderful, heartfelt post. It was a great read, my friend!

We have a lot of things in common, my friend. I'm glad you had the chance to go to the woods for a few days...

Sandcastle Momma said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the time spent in the woods will help comfort you.

Grace. said...

It doesn't matter how old we are, or what our relationship was like--when our parents die, we feel like orphans.

Take care.

Did it MY way said...

Thanks to all of you.

Ginger said...

I read your blog often and enjoy your take on things, on life. I'm so sorry about your Mother's passing. I bow down to you for coming here to share so soon after. My Mom died last year. I started my blog to help me deal with caring for her and watching her die. I crawled into a hole for a good long while after she passed before I could come out. It was the tiny spark of a dream that came from it - a dream to live self-sufficiently and far from the city - that kept me going during the last weeks of her life and the months that followed her death. I'm so sorry about your Father, your Brother, your Wife. If I've read between the lines correctly, you are the last member of your family of origin. I may someday be in those shoes as I am the baby by many years. I wish you peace.